Thursday, March 5, 2009

Coping up on Mid-life Crisis!

Somebody give us life.Agree?? We started to live life at a very early stage with nothing to think of.As time goes by, development and changes in life occurred, different stages of personality took place,physical, mental, emotional, social and in all aspects of our life. We encountered different problems, sorrows and happiness in life. But we,give our best foot forward and embrace and accept all this challenges whole-heartedly. Day by day different changes occured in our life and that changes helped us developed our personality up until we reached the so-called Mid-life. A stage of one's life where in, a person is in between...Moreover, during this stage more and more changes will happen to our life that may lead to something negative if we don't know how to handle all this changes, that is why, we tried to find a lot of ways on how to cope up this crisis or what we called- Mid-life Crisis.
There comes a time when a person realizes that he/she has passed the zenith of his life and is now on the downhill side. In fact, life has turned into something of a taboggan ride straight to the end. His/Her kids are way past the cute stage. His/Her job is a cul de sac off a deadend street in No-wheres-ville. Every weekday he/she goes to work in the morning and comes home in the evening and his/her weekends are all "honey do" weekends with a long list of chores. The family expenses suck up all the money so there is little left over for toys or recreation, and the kids' activities suck up all the spare time. All in all he has the life of a well-cared-for plough horse.
Then you begin to notice some changes. She get up in middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and you see her that she has not come to bed. You notice the computer is on in the den. When you walk in, your partner abruptly closes the browser window. Or maybe some Saturday afternoon you walk out his/her back door and your partner is standing out in the yard talking on his/her cell, but he/she says, "Talk to you later," and abruptly terminates the call when he/she sees you. Maybe heshe starts coming home later and later, or maybe he/she suddenly gives up beer and starts working out and doesn't even brag to you about it, or goes out and buys himself what he/she imagines are fancy things.
These may be the first warning signs of the onset of midlife crisis. It's time to take fast action, because they just might be about to do something really crazy. You better head this runaway train off at the pass before it jumps the track.

What To Do
Since your partner might snap any second there is really no time to lose.

Step 1: Is He/she Worth It?

First of all, you have to make a decision: is he/she worth keeping? To find out, ask yourself the following questions:

Will I miss that part of his/her income that I will lose if he/she leaves me?
If I take everything he/she has, will it be enough?
Will I miss our conversatons?
Will I miss his/her parenting abilities?
Will I miss his/her competancy in an emergency?
If you answered 'no' to question 1, 3, 4 or 5 or 'yes' to question 2, you might want to hire a private detective and a divorce attorney. Have your partner followed until he/she gives you grounds for divorce, then have the attorney milk him/her 'til he's/she's dry. The end.
If you answered 'yes' to question 1, 3, 4 or 5 or 'no' to question 2, you might be better off using one of the mid-life crisis countermeasures I describe below.

Step 2: Take Action

Plan A: Sex
Before an object reaches escape velocity, it has to overcome a lot of inertia. You may think your partner married you because he/she loves you, but in reality he/she married you because you were HOT - I mean HOT. You were so hot he/she was ready to give up his dreams, his freedom - anything if he/she could continue to have you. Deep inside, beneath layers of accumulated angst born of endless pointless tasks and disappointment, he/she still feels that way. Therefore, to leave you he must fully release himself from that part of him that still thinks he/she cannot live without you.

Never mind that gravity and babies have taken a toll on your body. It is really not about that. Wear something with nothing underneath, and let him/her find that out by surprise. Go shopping and greet him/her for wearing scanty sleepwear when he/she comes to bed. Once you get him/her there, see if he/she wants to try some things you haven't tried as a couple before. Be willing to do some things you may have shied away from. Encourage him/her to give you pleasure in ways he/she hasn't before as well. If he/she feels he/she is pleasing you it will renew a sense of purpose in his/her relationship with you.

His/her midlife crisis is telling him/her he/she must change his/her life because his/her life has grown intolerable. He/she has begun to feel he/she has nothing to lose, but he/she will keep some residual fear of the unknown. If you remind him/her why he married you in the first place and rekindle the fire, you will probably take away his reason for being restless, because great sex goes a long way toward making life tolerable.

The advantages to Plan A are that (1) it is inexpensive, (2) it could be fun and (3) you might just end up with a better marriage than you started with.

Plan B: Toys

Drudgery and sameness have brought your partner to the brink of this insanity. Break up the monotony with fun!
One of the most famous symptoms of the mid-life crisis is the fancy sports car. This symptom is destructive to family life because it usually involves a big loan that keeps on soaking up funds long after the temporary insanity has subsided. By the time he realizes how silly he looks in the car it will be too late.
One good way to short-circuit this abberation is to buy your spouse less expensive toys that distract him from what he really wants. Buy him a dirt bike instead of the $10,000 Harley he wants to buy. Get him a video library of sports events, martial arts, or science fiction. Send him on a hunting, fishing, or camping vacation up in the mountains. In this way he can get some of the things he thinks he's missing without sacrificing the family nest egg.
Or you can devise a savings plan that lets him buy the Porche he really wants without overly damaging the family's financial well-being. He is much less likely to bail out or do anything rash if he feels you are on his side.
The advantages of Plan B are (1) you don't have to do anything repugnant and (2) you retain some measure of control over his craziness and the financial damage it could cause.
There are lots of ways on how to cope up things during mid-life crisis. But the bottomline is we are the masters of our actions and choices. Each and everyone has its own freewill to decide whether to turn things into a positive way or to the other way. Life is what we make. The decision and choices is in our hands. Always Live life to the fullest!!

No comments:

Post a Comment